Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Stale

Today be a very long post, People not willing can give it a pass

Bear with the analogy its abit stupid but it came to me when I was sleeping.

Warriors trained to fight in a war, all of them young,vicious, aggressive. A veteran, skillful, composed, cold-blooded. There be a day he is too old or "broken" or tired to fight and was killed.

In real life it was the same, They r passionate, energetic, competitive while I am the total opposite of it and worse. 1 day my fire will dim n lose his flame. 1 day I will fall and I will just want to stop. I am getting more injuries in this year than the past 3 years all together. My left leg starting to hurt more then usual, previously old injury was once in every 2 months, now is 3 times per week.

Life had never been more stale, I could not find a better word. I do not know how to describe the state of my life right now. There have been so many trials, there always been so many things going through my heart and mind, I am always obliged or obedient to do, listen and act out but why am I not willing? Always I feel my life is not mine unable to do what I want to do. True its GOD's, my soul body mind is his.

Well recently I took this important test, it was very . . . Deep and for its high accuracy which I doubt

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone.

You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do. Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety - perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a 'soul mate', someone whose standards are as high as your own - but where? Keep on searching...

The more I read the more I just sigh on my life, and be disgusted on how I feel. But still I want to come back to his Word, but sadly feeling I lack the Spirit. I feel I am slipping from everything in my life. My friends, my family, my studies even and especially church. I am not jovial, firm and still as before.

I grew a lot from before, but has been with a price?
To inspire to care to influence, is that what I want and can?
To be able to honour, please and glorify HIM. Is that what I can do?
Sadly, my faith is slipping as well, I doubt myself and worse I doubt my Lord

1 Peter 1:6
IN this you greatly rejoice, thought now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials

Reply To Taggers

Ying Chao: Haha what spelling!? Anyway thanks for driving every time, super appreciate it. Haha wait for another 5 years or and I will drive? Lol Don't think u need it by than!

(: : Hi! ^^

Friday, October 27, 2006

Till Further Notice

Long week a lot of things happening haha won't go into detail but some heads up are


1. Singapore Johor 2nd Link Run I am confirm going already, School sending team, doing 13-18 Competitive section.

2. NP Biathlons/Aquathon organizing in progress, all secondary and tietary schools been coming to NP to race. (I am 1 of the officials weee! Slack)

3. Ngee Ann POLYMPICS (Cheesy name) its like Olympics in Ngee ann poly. I maybe doing Swimming and Track n Field. Racing against all divisions in School. C how My Captain want to place me

4. Thank GOD for all the peaceful sleep I can have once I am home.

5. Unofficial Announcement, will say when its time ^^

Tomorrow be having a long day, let GOD bless the meeting, YA and my training for tomorrow. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

P.S All my tags I will reply on post to aviod flooding, and to allow it to have people to read my posts LOL

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Review

2006 is ending, soon to review myself and set for next year. Whether I have grown from all the challenges this year. Physical, Mental, Social and Spiritual. Today's, training manage to encourage abit my team-mates, and able to share what I do in church. Really lead me thinking how to I conquer a new year, a new goal, a new challenge.

I look at myself now, sighing but believing I am growing in all aspects.

A Phase of my Life (Phase 1)
Looking back my shallow past
Living life from dawn to dusk
Nothing but sorrow n despair
Nothing to gain from 1's care

How I wish those were the days
Being more than jars of clay
Was living life carelessly
While receiving pain endlessly

Now I am more then Me
I have Christ to please
For him I will always come short
But how he loves, to erase my flaws and fault

Forgive me, but I beg yr restoration in me.



Reply To Taggers
To Bell: Ya la ya la! lol noisyyy
To Flav: Ya it was fun, there b a nx time
To Syl: Wats AHEM AHEM?! Wat the world... lol plz define it properly!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Whats a Good Time/Place to be Ministered?

As every1 should know, anyplace anytime. Today, unaware what service would be like, while Praising him (As every1 knows praise songs r fast n happy) I cried endlessly while praising and worship.

I didn't reject it and let it come and be ministered at such a time, even when I was still jumping and singing, tears roll down. I felt there was no meaning, no obligation, no burdens but I had a great worship n praise session which how I love so much, Dancing for Christ.

Back to School, quite grateful? That I have more responsibilities from the TriElites. That I have to organize National Biathlon for NP and all that. Been able to adapt, thank GOD. But Prayerlife and Quiet Time slipping (do not feel so Spirit Packed/Anointed as before). Pray that I will keep Christ 1st always n forever.

O and yesterday just went out ice-skating, I blade some times but never ice-skate before it was good, thought I would fall but didn't until the last 5 mins of it then I fell. Thanks to Isabel ^^! After that went to eat, talk alot. Our topics so irrelevent. From studies, somehow it can drift to Leg Hair? Haha. Then went swimming with Junming Xiao wen then together we go Amanda place where Jocelyn, Sylvia, Ming still playing mahjong yap yap.

Lead the LivingStones people out for a run quite a big turn up, thank GOD for it and the haze. Appreciate they manage to spend time to run as a family even with their exams whatsoever. No reasons to run maybe for some but just to be there.

Reply to Taggers
Sylvia: -.- Kill u...
Yenn: Haha its nothing ^^
Angelia: How u Been? Doing good?

James 1:4
Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Inspire

Race for Pride? Race to Inspire? How do u separate this 2?

Today training was quite hard, my hand shivered unable to support the weight any longer, still going for a long run and sprint race. TriElites is a very competitive thing, as these people will always try to be the best. So do I, but what makes a difference is Who I Run for and Why I run?

They race to b the best, I want 2 race to inspire. But I sometimes I forget why I race and I race all out just to beat that person, that's pride and Pride contradicts Inspire. How can u inspire someone while u r not good? Inspire to be hardworking, maybe. But today it was different, I could inspire to teach and yet be good and still win. In Short as a Coach. But won''t people be better than u if u teach them how to race? Yea there maybe a chance, but this is to bless them.

Got home shagged and tired, just know about Yenn's Cut, quite disappointed with myself and when I got home Mom wanted be to "counsel" this girl which was like totally out of the blue. I will see how it goes. Sylvia asked me quite a valid question, Why am I always burden and tired. Actually I have nothing to say, or too much to say. Pray I sleep well tonight and ready for tommorrow again.

Replies to Taggers
To Passerby haha I c
To Cheris Amen
To Zhi haha of coz, anyway I won't be racing for Coporate Tria nymore. If I race I be disqualified because I am a student racing for Ngee Ann Poly and its meant for Business ppl
To Del Relax haha it will end soon
To Flavian haha is it? Still ok la...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Relieve

Surrender all to Christ, such a simple phrase and command but it can impact my life forever. Haha sometimes I find my mentality laughable. I burden Christ too much until that I use my own strength to solve what my problems, worries and burdens. But I will always come back short and fail.

that's why Christ death n rise is so great. That's why hes irreplaceable. That's why his love means more than all the treasures of the earth.

I am not Christ although I try to be like him. I let go all onto the foot of the Cross, and live my life pleasing HIM in every way, to honor Him, to place Him 1st. That's the dream I place in my heart for my GOD.

Today service was good as usual, learning something new but doing n obeying it is much better. Followed by a run with the network, quite low n short but there b more to come nx week.

Rupture - Christians taken up when the end days come
Tribulation - 3 and a half years of apparent peace. Followed by 3 and a half years of suffering, pain, violence. It will be Satan rule, Hell on Earth. Would non believers be saved then? Yes but difficult.

I fear for them to know what they will go thru if they do not listen and believe

-.- look at the face! I juz love using it too -.-

Monday, October 09, 2006

Expectations

Expectations

I finally understood today why I am always so tired feeling burdened. And I found it out not by reading his word but a Triathelete Magazine. The headlines was "Peter Reid End of An Era." he is a 3X World Ironman Champion and suddenly he decided to retire. Why when he was physically ready? He said there's no more drive for him to carry on. I felt it was how I felt, day by day, I live each day fulfilling endless expectations upon me sometimes even unknowingly. Achieving them endlessly tirelessly as if I depend on it. Am I sure? Quite


From when I was small, high expectations has been set for me my family, studies, achievements, success, and of coz I do am not able to succeed. Slowly expectations branch out into my friends when expectations of me being "nice" "fun to b with" "cheerful". And it crept into even all my past relationships, when those girls been with me expect me to b a guy suitable and good to them, being a gentleman, sensitive, understanding, caring. Which I always try and try to be, and I will come short of it occasionally. Expectations.


Even in church its there, in school and Triathlons its there. Although they do not pressure to win. But as long as school pay for me should I not give my all? Its the least I can do. And finally even GOD's expectations. I am not ashamed to write this because HE knows my heart and I am transparent before HIM. Every time knowing I come short before his expectations, even knowing he forgive, I will hate myself. Being angry with myself that why can't I live up worthy to HIS name. I know its not easy, its a tiring process. Knowing my reward is in eternity has not been my motivation, because I don't see it how could it encourage me? (Tsk little faith) But I do it because I obey and i know its the right way.


And when 1 day, I am not being the usual "Sky" I get judged and sometimes condemned just for that even 1 time. Then sometimes I would think than what for I should carry on being what I am? I carry on because its what GOD plan for me to be. I am not born like that, I am nuture and grew to be what I am. I am flawed but I yearn to be what its good in Christ's name. I guess in the end its the desire to be like Christ that counts, the Final Expectation.


I thank GOD that I now understand and don't let this be a barrier for me to stop growing more into Christ-likeness to please u even when i am overcome by burdens, faitugue and worries. In Jesus name I Pray AMEN.


2 Corin 5:9

SO we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Experience It Real

Experience It Real

It has struck me, long time ago that the question place into my heart was, Why do I Race? How I miss racing and hardcore training oya and relaxing. Why? Its so tiring am I nuts? I thought I dislike running etc? Maybe a little but the truth of something burning in me blazes.

Factors that why I continue or miss racing/training

1. For my LORD
2. I miss the time when I preservers with the training to earn the fruits of labor,
3. Preservarance builds Character brings Hope installs Faith
(Romans 5:3)
4. I experience GOD real when I am training/racing when I am tired or burdened
5. When I train or race my focus is forward, nothing else, nothing I should be thinkin or worrying, until reality comes back ^^
6. Strive to able to inspire people around me for GOD
7. I wont lie I do not think its passion, I think its a Plan for mi to nuture/grow
8. Make me depend and have more faith on my Lord

Although I have been training 2 times a week still, but normally I would do 3 - 4 times. Coporate Tri is coming, new goal is set, a new dream, a new race to conquer and it will begin this Sunday!