Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Today be a very long post, People not willing can give it a pass

Bear with the analogy its abit stupid but it came to me when I was sleeping.

Warriors trained to fight in a war, all of them young,vicious, aggressive. A veteran, skillful, composed, cold-blooded. There be a day he is too old or "broken" or tired to fight and was killed.

In real life it was the same, They r passionate, energetic, competitive while I am the total opposite of it and worse. 1 day my fire will dim n lose his flame. 1 day I will fall and I will just want to stop. I am getting more injuries in this year than the past 3 years all together. My left leg starting to hurt more then usual, previously old injury was once in every 2 months, now is 3 times per week.

Life had never been more stale, I could not find a better word. I do not know how to describe the state of my life right now. There have been so many trials, there always been so many things going through my heart and mind, I am always obliged or obedient to do, listen and act out but why am I not willing? Always I feel my life is not mine unable to do what I want to do. True its GOD's, my soul body mind is his.

Well recently I took this important test, it was very . . . Deep and for its high accuracy which I doubt

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone.

You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do. Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety - perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a 'soul mate', someone whose standards are as high as your own - but where? Keep on searching...

The more I read the more I just sigh on my life, and be disgusted on how I feel. But still I want to come back to his Word, but sadly feeling I lack the Spirit. I feel I am slipping from everything in my life. My friends, my family, my studies even and especially church. I am not jovial, firm and still as before.

I grew a lot from before, but has been with a price?
To inspire to care to influence, is that what I want and can?
To be able to honour, please and glorify HIM. Is that what I can do?
Sadly, my faith is slipping as well, I doubt myself and worse I doubt my Lord

1 Peter 1:6
IN this you greatly rejoice, thought now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials

Reply To Taggers

Ying Chao: Haha what spelling!? Anyway thanks for driving every time, super appreciate it. Haha wait for another 5 years or and I will drive? Lol Don't think u need it by than!

(: : Hi! ^^


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