Sunday, July 02, 2006

Passion

Today I be bloggin quite long, so people who r tedious or stressed just skip this post, but I am writing it because it has really affected me this week and actually the past few months... But anyway don't read if you are stressed but PLZ TAG OR CHAT WITH MI about the problems so I can pray for U.

1stly My triathlon finished, Praise GOD then I managed to run with ease and with consistency. I was very nervous at 1st but when I prayed with Kenny and the runners, the tension was gone and I could run with a new strength in me and I like to say this very short prayer that I feel its very good for athletics and especially for my self. "GOD make my feet light, bestow strength in me and SOAR with me" Indeed it came true.

Recently, the word I am be using is DRY n UNMOTIVATED... In truth these past few months have been very tedious, tight, meaningless and drained for me. I have been struggling a lot because life has become meaningless and dry, for example worries in my life come 1 after and another...Not only my own, but the church and especially my frens... Don't get me wrong I like to talk thru all of yr problems and share yr burden Frens... I enjoy praying for u all even when I am asleep or saying Grace whatsoever. But I felt it has been a lot that it really affected my mood when I am away frm church and my Spiritual Bro/Sis. I enjoy my time with time but when I am away frm these 2 suddenly my world is very DRY very empty very meaningless... That whatever I go its just for the sake of doing, very Burnt out worse... I felt the lack of Love the only motivation why I serve.

Sadly, I felt like leaving church, I felt not much of a reason to stay on. Also my duties have been adding onto the pile of junk in my life. Again do not get me wrong, I like serving but what affects me is why am I doing it? Is it really Serving GOD or MAN? In short, I have lose all motivation to do my duties, come church or even to live.

Today I decided to talk to Josh about it, and just nice today's sermon was right on the spot. GOD really came at the right time when I felt like leaving the church. A Simple life is a life which simply loving Jesus... SO short and simple. Although with its simplicity but its not easy to do. Because sometimes we sin and displease GOD. But what made me driven again was... Let Jesus be yr motivation in everyti... Drown yrself by his love, I am nt going to talk a lot about it but it really struck me. I decided to share it openly in my cell, Josh gave a question that is so true in my life. Let GOD be yr motivation, we do things for him but how do u serve or love GOD when it is difficult when u feel u dun wan to? When u serve at the end of the day ask yrself y do u serve GOD?

I have been serving, caring and even praying by using my own abilities, and I have not been motivated by GOD's love at all... After all that was the main reason why I accepted Christ, His love. I felt the time when u feel drained or dry to serve or come to church. What do we do to spurs us on...Simple... HIS love...Even the times when we r hurt or in difficult times...DO it because we love him

GOD I pray u forgive me for ever thinking or leaving that...Lord right here right now I pray that let the Seed of love have roots in my heart that I will never forget the glory and power of your love. The Only motivation that I live by the drives me against all odds. Lord I pray that loving u through difficult times will make us mature and grow but I pray that u will bless us to continue just simply loving U.

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