My other profession

Well obviously my occupation is a student, but my other profession will sound like this. (its quite interesting I suggest reading the whole thing)

Hi, I'm Sky Kwah. I'm with a global enterprise. We have every branches in every country of the world. We have representatives in nearly every parliament and boardroom on earth. We are into motivation and behavior alteration. We run hospitals, feeding stations , crisis-pregnancy centers, universities, publishing houses, multi corporate companies, and nursing homes. We care for our clients from birth to death. We provide and are into life insurance, worry insurance, health insurance and death insurance. We often perform spiritual heart transplants. Our Original Organizer owns all the real estate on earth plus an assortment of galaxies and constellations. He knows everything and lives everywhere from prostitutes houses to war inflicted nations. The product we offer is free for the asking but the money of the world cant afford it. Our CEO was born in a hick town, worked as a carpenter, didn't own a home, was misunderstood by family, friends, his colleagues and hated by his enemies, walked on water, calm the storms, was condemned to death without a trial, and arose from the dead. I talk to him everyday.

Care to join my profession?